


It Ends with Hello

by HowlingHooves



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Apologies, Bittersweet, Emotional, Hand over those tissues, Love at long last, Presumed Dead, Reunions, Shakarian - Freeform, Years Later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6691423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowlingHooves/pseuds/HowlingHooves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the Reaper War, Garrus receives an odd vid from a very old, and dead, Commander Raquel Addison Shepard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Ends with Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this! It's my first shared work, like ever. See any typos? Feel free to send them my way, I tend to do most of my writing late at night/early early in the morning. (Because muse, it hits when it's most inconvenient, I swear...)
> 
> Anyway! Get ready for a bittersweet, but happy reunion between our favorite duo. c:
> 
> I write to music, always have and always will. Mostly one shots and centered around one song. This one happens to revolve around two, however.
> 
> Hello, Adele  
> All I Want, Kodaline

He had been given multiple reports to sift through that afternoon, and most had been put aside for later, hiding in plain sight on his desk as he cared for other matters. As Primarch, there were many duties he had been given that made him balk, but the paperwork had to be the worst of it..

Garrus leaned back in his chair, ankle crossed to rest atop his other knee, and picked up the first of the orange screened reports, granting a request for supplies asked, as well as giving some well wishes to an old friend who was to be marrying the following day; apologies for missing the event were followed, but as Primarch he had learned that there were some things that he had to let slide. Not that Garrus had ever minded avoiding a few certain things before, of course.

When he managed to finish up the reports laying on his desk, he picked up the final one; it was a vid, rather than a simple report, but it wasn't marked by anything. Compact, easily missed, and it looked older than anything else he had kept around after his days aboard the Normandy had ended… Those had been hard times, especially in the aftermath, but he had pushed himself through them eventually; six years later, here he was, Primarch of Palaven and, occasionally, Ambassador when visiting the Citadel. For the next hour or so at least.

He turned it on distractedly, not truly paying much attention as he reached over onto his desk for his drink. His blue eyes snapped back to the image portrayed after a few moments, his drink held in tight fingers and shaking arm.

_So Liara said I should do something like this. She'll say she advised me, and others I'm sure, to leave a vid but believe me when I tell you it's a lie; that Asari is more aggressive than most people see past her quiet voice. I'm sure you already know that though._

_Anyway, hello. I'm sorry if this is awkward, I've never actually done this before. Spoken to someone sure, but made a memoir or whatever this is? Yeah, this is new for me. Liara said it would be a kind of closure, or a goodbye… I guess. Because we both know when this was recorded, and we both know what this war has done to people, to the Normandy. To us._

_We just spoke, actually; you had good news from your father, he and your sister are safe now. It brightened you, even in this mess you seemed more ready to walk with me through hell just knowing they were safe now. I don't blame you, I'm still in that hole, wishing I could keep Earth safe, that Anderson wasn't still there fighting where I should be. That I hadn't left, because I know I'm needed here but they need me more. I can do more to help them than be that peacekeeper you said I am._

_Garrus, the real reason I chose to record this… I'm sorry, Garrus. I just, I have that feeling. Deep down, I don't think I'll be seeing you after this war is over. And for that I'm so sorry, enough that I wish I could just lie down and let everything play out without me, without you or the Normandy. You've been through everything with me, from the very beginning and I have always been able to count on you, I always know you've got my back because I'll always watch yours._

_I love you, Garrus. I love you. It's no secret we're all running out of time, I feel like there's a clock ticking down over my head; I can see the wear and tear when I look in the mirror, I know that I look like hell, but… I can't be selfish. You know I can't. And for once I'm sorry that I can't just take something for me, for you and us and…_

_When you get this.. Liara said she'd pass it on when she felt the time was right; just be okay. For me. Whether I'm there or I'm not, be okay. Hell, maybe by the time you get this you'll be the new Primarch; Primarch Vakarian, that's a sight I would like to see._

The vid went dark on her smiling, agonized face, but Garrus stared at the empty screen for some seconds, looking down at the timer to see another two minutes left. Letting it play out, he dreaded what may show up.

Shepard appeared again, looking somehow different, yet still the same; older? He wasn't sure, but his eyes were glued to her longingly. No, she had been gone for years, and it haunted him.. Doubt wove through him; was she older?

_Hello. It's me, if you're watching this, Garrus. It's been what? I don't even know anymore, to be honest._

_Garrus I'm sorry, to leave you in the dark. I heard of your promotion, as Primarch; I'm so proud of you Garrus Vakarian I could just take a ship out to knock down your door! You've accomplished so much, even after.._

She smiled, sadly, tiredly even.

_I'm sure you're guessing, but I'm okay, kind of. I made Liara promise not to tell you; for good reason I want you to know. After the Reapers were destroyed? I was in that explosion on the Citadel, but Miranda and Liara found me in the rubble. Brought back again, Vakarian, but by something else this time. I lived through that, but… You saw the place, I'm sure, so you can imagine what I looked like._

_I don't remember what happened exactly, but if you're not angry, or busy with your new job, could we meet up? I'll be on Palaven if you're getting this. Your contacts will know where, I sent this through them to be sure you got it._

_I'm sorry, for breaking your heart Garrus. I need you to know that. I couldn't be selfish, you know I can't ever take anything for myself. It's just not me._

This time the vid went dark and turned itself off, and Garrus dropped his drink, the glass shattering on the floor as he rose his comm system and beat down the doors of every contact he knew Shepard was aware of.

It took fifteen minutes before he found the right person, and his surprise was more than gone. “Liara, where is she?” He breathed out, more of a whisper as he placed his head in one hand, clenching his eyes shut.

“She's at the apartment you gave me, when I visit. Please don't be angry with her, Garrus; she couldn't see you, not after the way we found her, even if I wanted to bring you in. She called for you many times, but she couldn't handle seeing anyone for some time. And then they announced you as Primarch. She wanted to go, she was almost back to full strength, but she decided not to. She didn't want to offer any distraction, she said.”

“She was never a distraction, Liara! We all knew that..” He replied, his voice raising as he felt a hint of anger spark.

“Garrus, I did what she wished. When she reached out to me weeks ago, she gave me the vid. And she told me she couldn't do it anymore, she begged for my forgiveness, Garrus. Mine, because she knew you would be upset with me. Garrus, she loves you deeply, more than she could love me or anyone else, so please don't.. Don't be angry with her.” Liara reiterated, her voice small then, and Garrus was at a loss for words as he listened.

“I'm not angry, Liara, at either of you. Thank you.” He said, closing communications before rushing out the door to his office. He left without saying anything to his assistant, though after one look the Turian decided it was best not to question his superior, only saying he would take any calls and forward them if need be.

It was a short drive to the living arrangements Garrus had gladly offered Liara, as well as his numerous other friends from the Normandy, when they chose to visit; the building was a small but spacious apartment suite, very similar to the place Anderson had left Shepard back on the Citadel, Garrus realized as he stood outside the door. Less window space, of course, and of Turian architecture rather than what had been done on the Citadel, but it reminded him of that crazy dealing with Shepard's clone so many years ago.

Steeling himself, Garrus entered the apartment without bothering to knock, pausing when he spotted a woman staring out a window across the room. She turned around suddenly, as if startled, and Garrus nearly lost his nerve when he saw those familiar purple-blue eyes, her auburn red hair tied back in a ponytail, hell even the way she held herself as though ready to leap away or strike left in him a longing he had buried away. “Garrus!” She exclaimed, her face relieved and worried in the same moment.

His steps were full of purpose as he closed the distance, and when he was close enough he pulled her to him, hugging her tightly as he pressed a long, harsh kiss against her lips. The kiss told of everything he had ever felt after the war had ended, just the thought of losing her had been a wound so deep and then actually knowing she was gone, and the years after as he tried to forget, to move forward; as it was, Garrus had never taken anyone in marriage. He had a few lovers, but they had all be short lived, and he knew that he had always compared them to her, despite his attempts not to.

After breaking the kiss, with eyes closed, he rested his forehead against hers gently, as if afraid this was only a dream. Cupping his cheek, she kissed him softly, and he could feel how she was so very relieved. Opening his eyes he saw she was crying, brow knit together as tears fell down her slightly reddened face, dripping onto the floor beneath them.

He hugged her again, this one filled with all the loneliness and agony he had felt with her gone. She too hugged him, her hands gripping his shirt tightly as her own loneliness and regret poured onto him through her tears. “I'm so sorry, Garrus! I wasn't right. I couldn't face you without being me again and.. By the time I was you had already taken over as Primarch and I couldn't get in the middle of that. I tried to let you know, I did, but I could never send my messages.”

He listened quietly as she sobbed her apologies, pulling away when she did. “Shepard, shut up.” He told her lightly, shaking his head as he held her at arm's length. “I love you, Shepard. Nothing in the galaxy could change that, and believe me when I say I tried to forget. I know you tried, Liara filled me in, but how could you ever believe yourself to be a distraction? I would have taken the job even if you were here, because you would have pushed me to.”

His words left her broken, he could see, but in a way he knew wasn't entirely bad. Rubbing a shoulder with one hand, he lifted the other and wiped away the tears on her right cheek with his thumb, his eyes peering into hers for answers he wasn't sure she would give.

“Why?” He whispered, feeling a stone drop into his stomach to create a wrenching, churning pit that left his nerves on fire and his muscles weakening. Could she not have trusted him? He wouldn't admit it, but the fact that she had told both Liara and Miranda but not him left him jealous.

“Because I love you. Look at what happened to us; first Saren, then the Reapers, it ruined us Garrus. It ruined everything. I couldn't ruin something else, I couldn't destroy what you had left afterward.” Her words stung him, but more for her sake than his; she had truly felt as though she would ruin things by telling him she was alive?

“After everything we went through, you think I'd let you ruin anything we had? Shepard, you ruined me for other women, but never in a millennia could your presence ruin anything I work for. I would do it again and go with you, if it meant I'd have you for eternity.” He told her, giving her a look she had missed over the years, a knowing one that understood her reasons and would never second guess any decisions.

They spoke for hours, sometimes tears coming and other times laughter. They both shared stories of their time apart, though Garrus quickly caught that Shepard had more or less been much too haunted in the past few years to accomplish much of anything. He was surprised to find that one of his contacts was actually her; a military advisor he would send questions to every so often when discussing Alliance tactics or representatives, and as he recalled the answers he had received he realized that he should have known it was Shepard.

Eventually, as night fell over Palaven, they made it into the bedroom, clothes scattered across the floor and hallway, heated kisses roving every which way they could as long as they weren't interrupted by wandering, desperate hands. As they continued, Shepard stopped once as she just stared at him, a hand tracing the scars on his face tenderly. “Don't leave again.” He told her, seeing something in her eyes that betrayed her feelings.

“Okay.” Was all she said before they returned to their passions, sweeping each other away.

It was late morning when Garrus woke, though he just lay in the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while as he thought. Eventually he got out of bed though, saw he was alone, though two sets of clothing were still strewn along the floor, and he felt a weight lift away from him. It hadn't been just a desperate, longing dream after all.

After dressing in the clothes they had thrown, he was surprised to find Shepard gazing out the window he had seen her at the previous day, wrapped tightly in a thin robe. “What do you see, Garrus? When you look at your planet, the people you're responsible for?”

Her question was quiet, he had almost missed it, but joining her he took his time. “I see it for what I almost lost. The people are families that are alive, the planet is one that's thriving even after being nearly destroyed. I see a future I forgot once.” She didn't react to his answer for some time, and when she did Garrus felt a twinge of worry for her.

“I see what you did lose. Those families are smaller, the planet is scarred. You have a future here, Garrus, I won't deny it but.. But I don't.” Her voice grew empty as she spoke, and Garrus looked to her briefly in understanding.

“Well, you're just not looking hard enough then. I remember this one time, I was after someone who had gotten a squad of mine killed. Horrible thing, but a woman showed me that my need to kill him, it wasn't right. I was so caught up in what had happened, I had nearly lost track of who I was. But you didn't, Shepard. You remembered, and so do I.”

She smiled at him, one full of both hope and misery, joy and defeat; he trailed a hand down her back to let it rest on her hip, letting her lean against him as she returned to looking out the window. “I resigned last week, Shepard.” He muttered, looking down at the floor and away from her, feeling a small part of shame for his choice.

“I think that must have been why Liara delivered the vid. I told you before I don't make for a good Turian anymore, not after those years on your crew. If I can't do a good enough job, I shouldn't be Primarch.”

Her eyes were searching when she lifted his face to look at her, dark and unsure and all together worried. But she kissed him quickly in the next second, chuckling as she lifted her eyes to the heavens, watery and bright and full of that liveliness he had missed for too long. “She told me she had something here for me, too. Just said I needed to head to Palaven, to this apartment and it would be there shortly after I arrived.” Shepard told him, and he shook his head; leave it to Liara to deliver something so needed to both of them.

“Garrus Vakarian, she gave me you. What a gift.”

“Yes, what a gift.” He replied quietly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders then, keeping her close. “One that has no intentions of giving you up again. Not even to save the Galaxy.”


End file.
